Octogenarians

I have been blessed to have the privilege of taking care of elderly patients in my primary care practice. These people have taught me so much. They are full of a lifetime of wisdom and have plenty more to teach me. The ones that really catch my attention and provoke my curiosity are those who may be old chronologically but are young at heart. They tend to be healthy and active and enjoy their lives. They are living the life I would want to have if God lets me live into my eighties.

I have noticed some commonalities in healthy and happy octogenarians. One of the first things I recognized was the majority of these vibrant elderly exercise or lead very active, in-motion lifestyles. None that I can recall were sedentary couch potatoes. Many make it a daily ritual to go for a walk and some of them walk several miles a day, rain or shine. It is a habit for them. A body in motion tends to stay in motion!

Another more elusive quality I noticed is octogenarians tend to live above their circumstances. Many of them have lost spouses, children, careers, fortunes, and some degree of personal health. Yet, they manage not to dwell on their losses or let the losses define who they are.

They have recognized that life is not fair and they deal with it. This is a lesson I hope I have taught my children. Life is not fair. The world does not revolve around any single individual. God's plan for the world does not hinge on me! His plan will be accomplished with or with out me. I think this is one of the most important lessons of life.

I believe learning that life is not fair is the beginning of learning gratitude. Gratitude is another character quality in healthy and happy octogenarians I have witnessed. I think it is hard to be depressed or feel sorry for yourself if you generally are a person of gratitude. We all go through periods of depression and malaise, but generally people who practice or understand gratitude do not stay in those dark places.

I think people who are known for their character quality of gratitude are generally more interested in helping others than in being helped. And I believe this is one of those funny things in life, the more people you help, the happier you tend to be. Our culture today tends to sing a different song.

These healthy and happy octogenarians tend to not hold on to bitterness or anger. They are generally gracious and forgiving individuals. They know that holding on to bitterness or anger will destroy their souls. "Bitterness will dry up your bones." 

I know there are always exceptions, but I do believe if we tend to live an active lifestyle and practice gratitude, we will improve our chances of becoming happy octogenarians. Next time you see someone in their eighties enjoying their day, stop and talk to them. I am betting you will be blessed by the conversation.

Run to Remember: Life Lessons from My First Marathon

It has been 20 years since the bombing of the Oklahoma City Alfred P. Murrah Federal building in downtown Oklahoma City. One hundred and sixty-eight innocent lives were taken that day, and over 620 people were seriously injured. Countless numbers of lives were forever changed in a moment.

I, along with many of my fellow Oklahomans, believed that somehow here in the heartland, we would be immune to terror. I believed a myth that we were insulated and isolated from the insanity of mass murder. That myth was shattered at 9:01 on April 19th, 1995.

In typical Red Dirt fashion, we endured. We rebuilt. We have grown. We learned. Now we remember.

The Run To Remember is this weekend. We run to remember and to honor those 168 innocent souls and their families. The Run To Remember has been voted one of the top 12 must-run events. Thousands will be running and attending the event this weekend.

I was fortunate to be able to run the very first Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon and it was my first ever marathon. I had just turned 40 years old and found myself overweight, out of shape, and drifting. A friend from my church, Susan, challenged me to run. She had never been a runner and had just had her first baby. She was already signed up for the run and she challenged me in front of some friends. Not wanting to let my manhood be questioned, I accepted the challenge before I knew what I had really done.

I had never run more than maybe two or three miles at a time and generally did not enjoy running. I found it boring and painful. But I had committed to do this and she had witnesses to my commitment. I found an online program for beginning runners and began the plan.

I had no idea what I was in for. I imagined many things that I would soon experience, and some of them came true. I was, however, pleasantly surprised at the many lessons and life truths I learned in my training.

I learned that I could endure far more than I ever dreamed. I experienced worship in a new way. I made many new and lasting friends. My health improved. My energy improved. My attitude improved. I learned that most people, including myself, give up too easily. I learned that there is always someone faster than me! I learned that sometimes hard work is the reward. Success is often just around the corner.

This weekend, I am running the half. I will finish slower than I did last year. My goal is to beat the winner of the full marathon! It is going to be close!

If you have never been a runner, I want to challenge you to start. There are many positive health benefits and I believe you can learn many things about yourself.

Remember the 168 souls and their families.

Attitude Determines Altitude

Attitude is everything. Attitude dictates your altitude. Your mind is a powerful tool for you to have an amazing life.

Clarence was an elderly patient of mine. He has since passed away, but he was an amazing man who lived to an old age. He was vibrant and had a never-give-up attitude. He had a big impact with those he came into contact and taught me many things, but the main lesson I remember is his attitude.

He suffered from severe arthritis in almost every joint in his body. He had a concoction of things that he would mix up and rub on his joints. One of the ingredients was Old Spice. He must have used a lot of it. I did not have to look at my schedule to know when he was in my office. The smell of the “Clarence concoction” would permeate the atmosphere of our office upon his arrival.

During one of our frequent encounters, I asked him about exercise. Now this was extremely difficult for him because he was wheelchair bound. In all of my years of seeing him, I never saw him out of his wheelchair. I was trying to encourage him to improve his upper body strength so that he could assist better with his transfers. During our conversation, he told me that he got on his treadmill every day. He would spend five to fifteen minutes, two to three times a day. Mind you, I had never seen him walk. I was amazed and confused. How could he walk on a treadmill? His family finally made the connection for me.

He would start the treadmill and then roll his chair to the end. He would then place his feet on the treadmill, while sitting in his chair, and pick up his feet as the treadmill turned! He never gave up. He did what he could and made the most of his circumstances. He taught me “motion is lotion.” The more you move, the better you feel.

Clarence’s attitude kept him alive and vibrant in spite of a failing body. He squeezed all of the life he could out of the body he had. He had an amazing attitude that led to an amazing life. His attitude led to correct actions and he lived high above his circumstances. He learned to accept the things he could not change and to work on the things he could.

Is your attitude about your circumstance holding you back? Remember motion is lotion. Remember Clarence. Work on the things that you can change and accept the things that you cannot.

Enjoy your journey to an amazing life!

Risk: Don't Play It So Safe

Vera was in her eighties when I first met her. She suffered a stroke that left her mostly wheelchair bound. My wife was her physical therapist who worked with her in her stroke rehab. There was something special about this lady, and she really took an interest in my wife and ultimately our family.

Her husband was a loving, caring, wise, gentle soul. They essentially adopted us into their tribe. They loved to take us to dinner and their favorite place to go was Luby’s. They had great home-cooked food (buffet-style), and we always enjoyed the food and the company.

I learned a lot from just watching them interact. I watched as he would patiently push her through the line and help her with her tray. I watched as he helped her in and out of the car. I saw the twinkle in their eyes when they spoke kindly of one another. They were constantly bragging on the other. Their faith was important to them and they really lived it. The love they had for each other and for their family and friends was self-evident.

It was at one of these many dinners that I asked Vera what she would do differently if she could relive her life. She did not hesitate and with an intensity you could not only see but feel, she said,

“Take more risk in life. Don’t play it so safe.”

Those words have stuck in my head. Many times I have wanted to take the safe road and did. But there were times when I did take a risk, a chance. Vera’s advice has always encouraged me. I have not always experienced the success I wanted, but I have yet to regret taking a chance. Even in my failures, I have learned something about myself or the process of getting better.

What is keeping you back? Keeping you from taking a risk? Most often for me, it is definitely fear of failure, fear of looking stupid, of being found out. Fear.

Fear will dictate your boundaries and can be a good thing. But it can be paralyzing. Fear of failure keeps many from even trying.

I am not suggesting that you take every chance that comes your way, but do take some chances, take some risks. Do not always play it safe. Remember what someone whom has lived nine decades of life would tell you. Take a chance!

Enjoy your journey to an amazing life.